Tip 1: If this happens, cover everything in acid and move house.
Green-fingered gardening enthusiasts are popping up all over the place. Is this because of the fear of chemically enhanced mega-vegetables that can kill a man with their eyes from 40 yards? Or the hipster led obsession with making everything (apart from your identity) yourself? Or maybe that the economy is in such a state that people are realising that its either pun on the sunglasses (and get out into the garden) or start eating that trashcan. Whatever the reason, more and more people now want to nurture their own food, to care for vegetables from seed to sandwich, to make a half-hearted flick of the wrist toward self-sustainability, to connect with themselves and the world through the very human activity of interacting with soil to make food. This is living, this is surviving, this is growing vegetables in your back garden. But how to get started? Do you simply buy a carrot and shout at it until it reluctantly multiplies? Do you take a potato and lock it in a room with a bigger potato and wait for nature to take its course? Do you buy a bunch of cucumbers, bury them in the ground, then dig them up when your friends come round to fool them all into thinking your a born again naturalist? No, none of that makes any sense. What you should do is keep on the backyard boutique.com and listen to every word we write (once you’ve read them out loud to yourself).
Part 1: Location, location, aubergine.
The first thing to do is to sit down. Yes! I know! You thought this was all going to be back breaking bending over and slaving away in our hot Australian Sun didn’t you, well not on your life. Yet. The first thing to do is to have a good sit in your garden and scope the joint out. Which area gets the most sun? Where is protected from wind? Where will get the most rain fall? Where is far from any weeds or paths? You have to think like a vegetable. If you were a vegetable, where would you like to be? This is easy because vegetables are not to dissimilar from humans, and the perfect vegetable patch is pretty much the same as a perfect sun bathing spot. Sunny and sheltered, thats the key. Chances are the vegetables most Australians will want to plant are annuals, so they grow quickly over a short time, this makes it all the more important to maximise the sun they will receive. Make sure no trees are hanging over the patch, and any buildings, garden furniture or features, sheds, animals or people are throwing shade over your chosen hallowed turf. Wind is also a bad, bad, super bad, not good thing. Especially for plants that grow above ground (or as they are known to experts ‘air-plants’). Tomatoes and cucumbers cannot take the battering of a bisque boisterous wind. The young gardener must build something, anything, to block the wind, try a small wall, fencing panels, other plants, some hurdles, something! Just find something! Don’t let the wind destroy your dreams of vegetable glory! A straw bale can also help.
A straw bale
Well, thats only the first step, but theres a lot to think about there, and they’ll be a lot more to think about along the way. But it’ll all be worth it in the end!
Join us next time when we look at what to do first to your chosen piece of land.